


Keep the change

by GavinsPlstcPrck



Series: The Conrad Chronicles [3]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alice is Karas daughter, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Cunnilingus, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gavin Reed Needs a Hug, Gay Sex, Hurt Gavin Reed, Kissing, Luther is a friend, M/M, RK900 is named Conrad in this, Ralph is Karas brother, Sex, Soft Gavin Reed, Upgraded Connor | RK900 Has a Different Name, Vaginal Sex, it has a little Convin Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:14:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28668312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GavinsPlstcPrck/pseuds/GavinsPlstcPrck
Summary: Gavin’s life is a mess.His mother left him when he was seven.His father gives a shit on him.And his best friend Conrad doesn’t love him the way he does.When Conrad’s brother Connor comes up to Gavin and makes him an offer that sounds too good to decline, everything is at risk to go downhill.
Relationships: Connor/RK900 (Background), Kara & Gavin Reed, Kara/Gavin Reed
Series: The Conrad Chronicles [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2101041
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	1. Pretending

**Author's Note:**

> This is the backstory of Gavin Reed in my Human!AU/University!AU/Coffee-Shop!AU of Detroit: Become Human.
> 
> It’s going parallel with the first part with the title „Why can’t you just be mine?“ And tells what happened to Gavin through his experience with Conrad, Connor and what happened after that.
> 
> It can be read for itself as a stand-alone, but it would be better if you read the first part too to get the full experience.
> 
> A big Thank you goes at this point to Polaroid_memoir, who helped me to develop this little story and who appreciated the first part in an ecstatic manner I have never seen before on one of my fan fictions. ;) - I hope your questions will be answered with this. Thank you for encouraging me to write this! <3
> 
> But also: There will be other parts, so this will turn into a Series!
> 
> Have fun reading! - I really discovered my love for this rarepair through writing this fiction.
> 
> \---
> 
> There's also a Soundtrack for this fiction again.
> 
> Here's the playlist:
> 
> Chapter 1 - Ost: Starset - Perfect machine - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ir2d3Oyr9X4  
> Chapter 2 - Ost: Maroon 5 - Nobody’s love - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnA4O5_qj2I  
> Chapter 3 - Ost: Sleeping at last - I’ll keep you safe - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGuCscFcRFE

Gavin felt cold.

With which thoughts had he put on his goddamn leather jacket?

Not even his hoodie helped Gavin to get warm on this freezing morning in late November. Gavin lifted his shoulders, at least hoping it would provide a bit of warmth.

The plume of smoke, emanating out of his mouth and nostrils after he'd taken a drag of his cigarette, almost vanished in the mist of the early morning. Gavin snorted before he took the last drag and took a look around.

It was 7.30 in the morning. Before Gavin headed over to the campus, he always came here because he highly enjoyed the coffee of the nearby coffee shop. It was definitely better as the scum of the universities cafeteria, and it was worth it to wait a few minutes until the shop would open.

Gavin came here regularly, and in the meantime, he also knew some of the employees. Or at least they remembered him, especially Luther. A real big guy, who one wouldn't consider being the perfect barista. He knew Gavin's preferences, and sometimes they even chatted and came along pretty well.

Since around two weeks, there was someone new. They just had exchanged glances until now. She was quite pretty with her short blonde hair and those blue eyes. Her name tag said her name was Kara, but Gavin didn't know anything more about her than that.

However, why should he even bother? He already had enough problems, so why create another one?

After he stubbed out his cigarette on the ground, Gavin went over to the cafe's entrance. Time to get his beloved beverage.

He waited at the counter, and it indeed was Kara, who served him today.

"Hey, how may I help you?" she asked with a friendly smile, which already rubbed off on Gavin and he replied.

"Hey, I'm gonna take a medium decaf and a chocolate chip cookie, please."

Kara lifted her eyebrows. "Decaf, huh?" she asked in a charming tone, while taking the chocolate chip cookie out of a sales counter and placed it right in front of Gavin.

"Yeah, I just thought I should reduce a lil bit of my caffeine intake," he answered, and Kara smiled at him.

"I was just wondering since you always take the full potential of a pure americano."

Gavin chuckled. "Right. But sometimes you can at least try to make some good resolutions, right?"

Kara placed the takeaway cup beside the cookie and glanced at him. "Makes 3.95, please," she said, and Gavin gave her five.

"Keep the change," he replied and smiled at her. Just as he was, he winked at her and took his things before he headed outside.

Kara was nice. But it wasn't anything, Gavin had the necessary guts for.

***

On his way to the university, the smartphone inside his pocket started vibrating. Gavin was just about to enter campus grounds when he stopped. He still nibbled on his chocolate chip cookie, while he read the message.

_"Can't see you on Thanksgiving. Got an appointment in the evening, son!"_

SON!

That term he could honestly stick up his ass!

Gavin flicked with his tongue over his teeth to free them from a piece of chocolate, and he turned immediately pissed.

It had been more than half a year since he had seen his father and he kind of yearned for it. After all, his father was all of the family he had left. But no! His father preferred to spend his time on Thanksgiving with some hookers, instead of his son!

It was not that Gavin just made something up in this regard. He knew his father a little too well, and besides the alcohol, things like these filled his father's life to the fullest...

Gavin took another look at the campus ground and turned on his heel to head over to the nearby park. It was fucking cold. But with his mindset, he just couldn't take the first lecture, so he skipped it.

His hands trembled when he read his dad's message again and still didn't know what to answer.

It wasn't that he wasn't used to his behaviour. But after all, he had gone through, he had wished for at least a little more attachment to his father.

Gavin remembered very well, when he had come back home from school one day, with his seven years of age, and his mother was gone. - Just gone!

His father had never told him exactly, why, and he had never explicitly asked for it.

But his life had changed forever!

He always had been a child who made problems. A kid who couldn't follow the simplest of rules. With his father succumbing to depressions and alcohol, without ever seeking any kind of help, Gavin had moved out when he had turned 17.

Since then he just contacted his father in terms of familiarities or if it was necessary to get his signature on one of the forms, he had to fill out regularly for the university. Events like Thanksgiving and Christmas always had been something they at least shared. But since Gavin's dad had cancelled it with his message for this year, Gavin was just shattered.

Even the best cup of coffee wouldn't make it better, but Gavin had to pull himself together. He turned off his phone and leaned back on the bench he was sitting on to take a deep breath.

He would always be Gavin's father, but this time he just had fucked up! - Again!

The more Gavin thought about it, the bigger the lump in his throat became, and if he wouldn't distract himself soon, he definitely would start to shed a few tears. But that wouldn't happen if he could avoid it.

As much as his dad had hurt him with this - It wasn't worth a single tear!

So Gavin stood up and grabbed his backpack. He had to go back to the campus. His studies of Law Science wouldn't learn themselves.

***

When Gavin entered the main hall, his thoughts immediately went over to the blackboard. Here, everyone left notes of events, sales offers and other stuff. Gavin often participated in different parties, which always were announced on said board.

Now that he was highly frustrated, either way, he could use a good distraction.

When he approached the board, he saw the silhouette of a familiar person who stood in front of it. His coat was typical, so as his fucking turtleneck, sticking out of its collar. Both just topped by the ridiculous leather bag, hanging on the person's shoulder.

Conrad could stand somewhere in the crowd - These things were definitely something, Gavin would recognize everywhere.

Within an instant, Gavin forgot his father's message and he went over to pat his friend on his shoulder.

"Hey, smartass! What you're up to?" Gavin asked, and his friend turned his head.

"Hey, Gavin," he replied.

Gavin wanted to know what he was looking for. Usually, Conrad was interested in particular old books and other things, lingering in his smart brain.

"Nothing special. Since everything on the board is about parties, book exchanges and stuff."

Gavin's eyes hovered over the different announcements and ads and one of them, in particular, caught his eye. "What about that? You're going?" he asked. Gavin already knew that his High School friend wouldn't, but he always tried to encourage Conrad to join him.

Gavin was sure that his brother Connor would go, but not Conrad. However, he could at least tease him a bit.

"No. You already know, these aren't my thing."

Gavin stuck to his tease and grinned. "I highly recommend you finally pull that stick out of your ass. Otherwise, you'll never get laid." Gavin knew that Conrad wouldn't lean in, even if he would turn upside down.

"Gavin..." Conrad replied, but Gavin just chuckled.

"You know, I'm just kidding, bro!" Gavin added and looked at him. "But I can't deny that I would like it to have your company on one of those evenings!"

They exchanged glances and once again, Gavin admired Conrad's stiff composure, the manner of looking at him and just the way he slightly tilted his head forward to look at him from below. It was just a simple gesture, but Gavin noticed them all. After being friends with Conrad for over five years now, their bond was unequalled. They relied on each other and respected each other's quirks.

But when Gavin looked on his watch, he had to excuse himself. "Fuck, I'm about to miss my lecture. See you later, bro," Gavin said.

He had to hurry. His professor didn't make any exceptions if it came to missing the start of a lecture and so Gavin got a move on.

***

Even if Gavin didn't want to think about Thanksgiving anymore, the thought followed him through the next lecture. He asked himself if he did something wrong. If there was even anything, he could recriminate himself for, but he didn't find any.

After the lecture ended, Gavin went to the toilets where he finally could get some release. While he peed, he thought about what to do and inwardly, he pitied himself for not having a proper relationship. It would make things so much easier because he would have a person around him who really liked him. Who he could be together with, without always having the issue of being alone.

He often had heard it and also assumed, it would count for himself: Like parents, like children...

But he couldn't do anything about it. So why even bothering with it? For Gavin, distraction was an almost unwritten life strategy.

Gavin closed his pants and buckled up his belt before he washed his hands and left the toilets. When he swung the door open, he just felt a sudden weight on his side, when someone else clashed together with him.

He held out his hands to support the other person, and they thankfully kept their balance.

The look in her brown eyes let Gavin frown. Together with her blonde, long hair and those pink lips, they had an amazing effect on him.

"Hey," he said and added a smile.

The girl avoided his glance, and he immediately recognized her face.

"Wait, you're from the educational wing, aren't you?" he asked, and she nodded. "W- Would you like to drink a coffee with me sometime?"

It was always the same: He spoke before even thinking about it. But as it seemed, this time he had some luck.

The girl smiled at him, almost lovingly, and she nodded.

"Would you... Would you give me your phone number? So we can chat a bit?" he asked, just as politely as possible, his voice slightly stumbling over itself.

The girl looked around, a little searching and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "I don't have anything to write on," she said, and Gavin lifted a finger.

"Wait here," he demanded and went into the toilets again to pick up a bit of toilet paper. When he came outside again, he grabbed the pen in his pocket, and she wrote down a number on the toilet paper.

Gavin already cheered inside when the girl gave him the pen and toilet paper back and just left. He looked after her and smiled. "My name is Gavin, by the way," he added and saw, how the girl waved a hand, without even turning around.

At least he had her number!

***

When Gavin arrived at the cafeteria, he saw his friend Conrad hunched over his phone and went over to him. He had to tell him about his sudden encounter and wanted to show him that he was successful after all.

Without even asking, he smashed his backpack on the floor and leaned against the table.

"You know this girl from educational? Blonde, pink lips and High-heels?" he asked, and Conrad didn't even look up.

Gavin noticed inside himself the need to prove something to Conrad, and he was itching for his reaction and approval.

"You have to be more specific. There are quite a few blonde girls on the educational wing. Pink lips and High Heels don't help." His tone was rather static, but Gavin didn't give in.

"Doesn't matter. Got her number," he said with a sheepish grin.

"You have?" Conrad asked and finally lifted his eyes.

Now Gavin had his whole attention and handed over the piece of toilet paper. But different than expected, Conrad gave him a pitiful grin.

"I can't imagine that this is her phone number, Gavin." Conrad gave back the piece of toilet paper to Gavin, who now took a closer look.

It was as if Conrad stuck a knife between his ribs when he explained: "There's no phone number starting with one, ending with zero and a five in its middle."

Just now Gavin realised that the girl had fooled him. He felt how shame crawled up in his body, from his toes to his ears. Also, he realised that the girl and himself had carried a backpack. It hadn't even been necessary to get the toilet paper.

It came just automatic that he bit his lips before he crumbled the toilet paper to a ball and threw it into the next trash bin.

"Anyway!" Gavin said, his voice full of disappointment. He sighed and suddenly, an almost obvious thought appeared in his mind. "Why can't we just go on a date, bro? This is so unfair!" he spat out and looked at his friend, who already grinned.

Conrad would tell him how desperate he was.

"Gavin." Just Conrad's voice alone was so smooth and silky, that Gavin wanted to surrender.

"You're such a handsome guy and so polite. I don't even understand how you're still alone, bro!" Gavin was just hurt.

"Didn't we already talk about this?" Conrad asked him, and even if he meant well, Gavin was just pitying himself.

"Yeah, yeah... You're not into that whole relationship bullshit. I know!"

The whole conversation between them was Gavin being sorry about himself and that it wouldn't do any good if they would start dating. Conrad was and remained ace and Gavin, being bi himself, accepted that.

They were friends. And as they already had found out back then in High School five years ago: Friends just don't fuck!

Nevertheless, it hurt.

What are you gonna do on Thanksgiving by the way?" Conrad asked Gavin, who just got reminded of that unpleasant message from his dad.

"I'm staying here," he said, in his voice the slight hint of sadness. "Dad already fucked up again..." he added and when he looked at Conrad, he immediately knew that he pitied him - Again!

"I would have invited you to come over, but..."

Even if it was a nice offer of his friend, spending time with Conrad's parents was highly exhausting. Gavin would have been thankful for a caring family, but knowing, that Conrad's and Connor's parents were highly believing, let his toes curl.

"Yeah, yeah. It's okay. Not that I wouldn't feel honoured to share Thanksgiving with some of Jesus' biggest fans."

When Conrad left him shortly after, Gavin waited until he and his brother stepped through the door. Gavin looked down on the table. He sighed, and a few moments later, he also left.

His relationship with Conrad was way deeper than anything else, and he still had the thought about how it would be if they would really date. Back in the days, when he had just met Conrad, Gavin knew rather fast, that he fell in love with him. With his ice-blue eyes, his sharp contoured face and that fucking cowlick, hanging into his forehead. Gavin fell in love with all of Conrad's behaviour and the manner of handling things. His whole being was Gavin's image of perfection.

Nevertheless... He couldn't have him. So he remained a friend.

Sometimes Gavin couldn't even bear the thought of Conrad being alone.

But after all, inside his heart, he still loved him so much, that he just took it the way it was. It had morphed into a sweet ache, that showed up every time he looked into Conrad's eyes.

Sadly, everything else in terms of starting a relationship was just more a distraction for Gavin. Every time he started something, Conrad appeared in his mind, and Gavin just didn't know how to handle it.

Most of times he quitted again, leaving his partners because he got bored. But deep inside, he knew, that it just wasn't what he wanted. Honestly, in the meantime, Gavin wasn't even sure anymore, if anyone else was able to give him, what he imagined, being with Conrad.

He would never be able to tell him.

It resembled a nightmare... A nightmare, Gavin wasn't able to escape, and in a way, he also didn't want to and just submitted to it.

Even if it hurt him deep down to his core.

***

The whole morning had drained Gavin so much that he decided to get another coffee. Just for the sake of the caffeine in it. Gladly the coffee shop was right on his way home, so he stopped by.

Gladly, the cue wasn't very long, so he didn't have to wait too long until he reached the counter.

"How may I help you?" Gavin heard the nice voice of Kara and looked up.

"Hi. Just a simple coffee. Black, please," he said and looked at her.

As heartwarming as she smiled, he couldn't help but smile too.

"Not a good day?" she asked, while she got his coffee ready.

"No, not really," he replied a little reticent, and when Kara came back, she picked up a black sharpie and looked at him.

"What's your name?" she wanted to know, and Gavin lifted his eyebrows.

"Gavin," he replied, and Kara wrote his name on the cup while mumbling it.

"It's a celtic name, isn't it? Means 'White Hawk' if I remember right," she said and gave him a short look from the side.

Was she honestly flirting with him?

Gavin bit his lower lip and grinned. "Actually yes."

That made her smile. "Okay, Gavin," Kara said, placing the coffee in front of him.

Gavin already knew, how much he had to pay and gave her two dollars. While they kept looking and smiling at each other, Gavin said "Keep the change!" and she replied with a friendly "Thank you."

He just had picked up the cup, when she added: "Have a good night, Gavin."

"You too," he replied, waved at her and went out of the shop.

On his way home, he sipped his coffee and the warm feeling, which spread in his body, just felt good for the moment and was, by all means, a better end of the day than he had expected.

***

Sadly, the feeling didn't stick, and the other morning, when Gavin woke up, his room was still dark. Just the slight light from outside shone through the curtains and dipped the room in a nice light.

Gavin didn't have the urge to stand up. He didn't even want to meet his roommates. Unlike Conrad and Connor, he didn't have that much luck to have a whole apartment for himself. But after all, his flat-sharing community was pretty nice. But nevertheless...

In the end, it was the thought about the upcoming party that made him get ready for the lectures.

While having a quick breakfast, he flipped through a law book, since he still had some problems reminding some paragraphs. But he was sure he would get them until he would graduate.

Simon, one of his roommates, sat down across the table and while he hunched over a bowl of cereals, he looked over on Gavin's book.

"You're going home over the weekend?" Simon asked him, but Gavin shook his head without even looking at him.

"No. I can keep an eye on your lizard."

"You would?" Simon asked, and Gavin nodded.

"Sure," he replied and now looked at him.

Simon had one of these pet lizards, a gecko, as far as Gavin knew. He already had cared for it the last time when Simon had been away. And "Munchy", as Simon called it, was very easy to take care of.

"Thanks, Gavin," Simon said, and Gavin got back to his book again.

***

Through his day, Gavin was quite stressed with his lectures, and he was glad to come home again around four. On his way home, he had stopped by the coffee shop. But obviously, he had missed Kara, and just Luther was there.

The fact that they both already knew each other a little bit, was the only reason, Gavin was keen enough to ask him something.

After placing two dollars on the table, Gavin looked up to him, his glance a little asking: "Is Kara okay?"

Luther gave him a warm smile. "Yeah, she's fine. She has the late shift today," he told Gavin, who nodded and picked up his coffee.

"Thanks. Keep the change!" Gavin said and went off.

***

"Actually I'm glad that Conrad didn't join us," Connor said, leaning over to Gavin's ear to understand him better.

Gavin frowned. As far as he knew, the brothers had a pretty good relationship. If Connor didn't have these brown eyes, they almost looked the same.

"Why?" Gavin asked. After having his second beer, things laid easy on his tongue. "You don't want him to see you being with someone else, right?"

Gavin and Connor didn't know each other that well like Gavin and Conrad, but they nevertheless liked each other. Also: Connor might be Conrad's spitting image, but in terms of character, they couldn't be more different.

Connor was extroverted, he loved parties, and he loved men. The need for being with somebody he had with Gavin in common.

But Connor looked at him and leaned over. "To be honest, I wanted to talk to you."

Gavin's eyes got bigger, and Connor waved his hand to signal him to follow.

Connor led Gavin to one of the upper rooms.

Gavin knew that these rooms often were used to get close or have sex. So he asked himself where this was going. In this case, Gavin thought it had the reason to come here to have a chat because the music downstairs was too loud to talk.

Connor sat down on the bed and looked at Gavin.

"So, you wanted to talk?" Gavin asked, still standing in front of Connor. But what happened next, Gavin hadn't expected.

Connor grabbed him by his belt and pulled him towards him.

"Whoa, whoa! Hey!" Gavin repulsed immediately, and Connor let go of him. Gavin was touch-starved, yes! But it didn't reason to get intimate with his best friends' brother. "What the fuck are you doing?" Gavin asked, and when he saw Connor's look, he already knew something was coming up, that he didn't like.

"Let's be honest: We have more in common as it seems," Connor started, but Gavin still didn't know what he meant. "You're in love with my brother, Gavin!"

Gavin felt caught, but he wouldn't admit it. "No, I..."

"Oh, come on. I see how you're looking at him. I know that you want to date him since you know him and that you're desperately trying to impress him."

The way Connor said it wasn't even deceptive, nor malicious and that was the reason, Gavin sat down beside him.

"So do I!" Connor confessed and now dropped his gaze.

It took a moment until Gavin realised the meaning of what Connor had said. But instead of a disgusted reaction, Gavin just reacted with a short "Oh...".

Connor closed his eyes and shook his head. "I'm pretending since years. Pretend that I don't. That he's my brother and that this isn't real. I thought joining the university would make it better, but it just made everything worse."

Gavin thought, he would be the one who was to pity, but what Connor told him, must be way harder, considering that he lived with Conrad and that he was his brother.

"I can't even confess myself because I don't believe that he would understand or even reply my love for him."

"Oh my gosh, Connor," Gavin said.

"Be honest if you really love him, you know how I feel."

As sad as it was, Gavin exactly knew, what Connor was talking about. "I do," he answered, and for a few moments, they just looked at each other.

"You distract yourself with other guys, believing they're your brother," Gavin said. It wasn't a question, just a statement and Connor nodded. "Then why that action a few minutes ago?" Gavin wanted to know.

Connor bit his lower lip and dropped his gaze before he answered.

What he said was well worded, and Gavin realised that it reached him deep down inside.

"I can't ignore the need for being in a relationship with someone who's trustworthy and honest with me anymore. I don't want to distract myself anymore. You, as his friend, shows how faithful you are with him. How much you love him, even if he doesn't love you back."

Inside Gavin appeared a horrifying thought which Connor put into words the next moment.

"Being together with me would make you able to be with him. I might not have his eyes or his height, but if we're together, you can pretend me being him and I would finally feel loved."

They exchanged glances.

"Connor, I... I don't know if we should do that. Your offer sounds tempting, really. But..."

If Gavin was honest with himself, there was no 'but'. As strange as it was and as much different as Connor was... He was right. At least in a way...

Gavin looked into Connor's eyes. The striking amber he had seen so many times beside his brother's blue's... It felt as if things were already decided, and Gavin noticed how Connor cocked his head slightly.

"I promise, I'm gonna wear some lenses next time..." he murmured, and that was the point, everything inside Gavin surrendered.

When Connor kissed him, it was breathtaking. Connor's hand on his cheek, brushing over his stubble felt intoxicating, and within an instant, Connor made him forget that he wasn't Conrad at all.

His hands seemed to be everywhere when Connor pressed him down on the mattress. He grabbed for Gavin's belt and unbuckled it.

Even if Gavin would have decided differently, he was unable to act.

Connor opened his button fly and pulled his pants down. His lips caressed Gavin's skin, he licked over his groins and didn't waste a second, until he swirled his tongue over his dick. When Gavin emanated a desperate "Con...", Connor closed his eyes and let him slip between his lips.

He flicked his tongue over its tip, its slit and sucked on him.

Gavin grabbed at Connor's hair, his chest started to lift and lower in an uneven pace and his mouth opened to let out a relished moan. He held his eyes closed shut when Connor slowly lowered his head on him and hollowed his cheeks.

In his mind, the image of Conrad, sucking his dick, appeared. He imagined how they exchanged glances, how his ice-blue eyes met his grey's. And when Gavin opened his eyes, a shiver ran down his spine because seeing Connor licking on him was just what he had pictured.

Connor kept his eyes closed. His fantasy turned reality...

"Fuck..." he emanated, and Connor let out a slight chuckle before he let go of him.

While working Gavin by hand, Connor opened his own shirt and pulled his tie open.

Gavin sat up and leaned over to help. When his tie had come off, Connor kissed Gavin again, and the latter grabbed for his pants. He pulled them open and slipped his hand into it to stroke over his length.

Connor sighed into the kiss, while their tongues met and looped an arm around Gavin's shoulders.

Gavin clasped around Connor's dick, thumbed its head and circled it with his fingertip.

Connor's voice got pleading, and he sucked on Gavin's bottom lip before he let him go again. Once again they exchanged glances and Connor kissed him, with his already reddened lips but then leaned back to free himself from his pants.

Just now Gavin got aware, that he wore a jockstrap. He seemed to have planned everything of this, but in the end, Gavin didn't care. He showed Connor a dirty grin, which he returned.

Connor pushed Gavin on his back again to sit astride on his lap. He leaned down on Gavin, who shoved down Connor's shirt until it only covered his lower arms.

His pale skin was soft, stroking it with his fingertips, made Gavin wild. He brushed over Connor's nipples and stretched his head to nibble on Connor's neck. His tongue-tip ran over his Adam's apple. And when Connor shuttered under his touch, he shoved his pelvis against Connor's bottom.

Gavin grasped for Connor's chin, to show him a wolfish grin and pull him into another kiss.

Connor's hands were in Gavin's hair when he pulled back and looked at him. They knew, there always was some kind of protection available in these rooms and also some lube. Connor leaned back on the bed without leaving Gavin's lap and reached for the drawer of the bedside table to take out what was necessary.

Gavin observed every move of Connor. How he ripped open the condom wrapper with his teeth and how his tongue-tip stuck between his lips as he rolled it over Gavin's dick. While Connor made sure, everything was as it should be, Gavin stroked over his upper leg. He also watched him when he smeared the lube on his cock, just to reach back to prepare himself.

How Connor moved, how he arched his back when he touched himself, made Gavin crazy.

He placed a hand on Connor's stomach and sensed him jolting. Gavin listened to the smacking sounds of Connor when he pushed one or more fingers into his puckering hole.

Just when he leaned forward again, Gavin grabbed him by the hip to pull him closer. Connor lifted his hips a little and Gavin urged his way to Connor's bottom to give himself a little help to line up.

Connor was already so slick that Gavin easily slipped in. He was just tip deep into him when they made eye contact. When Gavin stretched him, Connor opened his mouth in arousal, his nostrils trembled.

For a moment, Gavin felt reminded of what exactly this was... A distraction! But it was too late.

His last will to restrain disappeared when Connor closed his eyes, lowered his hips and mewled his name. What had held Gavin back before, was now in pieces, and so he couldn't help but cry out.

"Conrad..." it came out desperate and Connor, moaning his name again, let Gavin forget everything.

Connor rolled his hips, they interlaced their hands and slowly increased their pace while pounding against each other.

Somewhen Gavin sat up to envelope Connor with both arms. They shared another kiss, paused just when they needed to breathe and through those breaks, their lips were just barely touching.

When Gavin looked at him, he saw how Connor frowned, and he started shaking in his arms.

If Gavin had to explain to someone how it felt to have sex with Connor, he wouldn't have been able to tell even just a single bit.

Connor's breath hitched when he kissed Gavin again and placed an arm on his shoulder while he started to jerk himself off.

Gavin's whole arousal pulsed through his abdomen. The more Connor moved, the more he tensed up. Gavin was close as Connor leaned his head against Gavin's and, all of a sudden, moaned into his ear.

"Conrad... Ohhh..."

Gavin noticed Connor jerking around him, but even if they both seemed close to their climax, they suddenly stopped moving.

It was as if Connor had a bad conscience when he looked at Gavin again, and he looked back.

Connor leaned forward, and their foreheads touched.

He stroked through Gavin's hair, and both their breath was still uneven when Connor spoke up. "I'm sorry," he said in an almost pleading tone, and Gavin knew immediately, that this was the end.

The idea, the solution for everything, didn't solve the problem. It just didn't...

"It's okay," Gavin murmured. "It's okay."

Within the next moment, Connor sunk into Gavin's arms and he started crying. The way he sobbed was heartbreaking and Gavin didn't even think about to make him responsible for doing all this.

No... In view of the circumstances, Connor's snivelling rubbed off on him, and he felt, how his throat tightened, and tears gathered in his eyes.

It wasn't the fact that they didn't finish. It was because they shared the exact same problem and that there just wasn't a good way to deal with it.

Gavin stroked Connor's back, and he hid his face in Gavin's crook of the neck.

It took a few minutes until they had been able to part from each other and got fully dressed again.

Gavin was busy with his pants when Connor sat beside him.

He still wiped some tears out of his eyes and snorted into a tissue.

"You okay?" Gavin asked him and Connor nodded.

"As good as possible. You?"

Gavin nodded and buckled up his belt. "Sure... I'm gonna be fine."

When they exchanged glances, Connor leaned over, cupped Gavin's cheek and kissed him once more.

Gavin knew it wasn't a kiss out of love.

"Thank you," Connor whispered, and Gavin grabbed his arm.

"It's okay," he replied. "Just know if there's anything I can do for you, I'm willing to help, okay?" he offered to Connor, and the latter nodded.

They both knew that even if it didn't solve their problem, it at least had brought them closer together. Not close enough for a relationship. But maybe for something else...

***

Connor and Gavin had agreed to leave the party when Gavin came back from the bathroom. But when Gavin came back, Connor was gone. Gavin didn't know if he had left because of the things that happened or not.

He took a look around, but he couldn't even ask someone because almost everybody was drunk or sleeping. However, he had to tell Conrad.

Maybe Connor just had gone home.

***

Gavin was kind of scared when he stood in front of Conrad's door. What should he even tell him?

He had promised he would bring Connor home safely. He didn't even want to ring the doorbell, so he tried it with a slight knock.

It didn't even take a minute until Conrad opened the door.

"I've lost your brother!" Gavin said, his voice desperate and a little scared.

But before he could even say something more, his friend grabbed for his jacked and demanded Gavin to follow him. After seeing how Conrad was looking at him, Gavin was even more scared.

Did he already know? - Damn, where did he just maneuver himself?

Gavin felt his heart hammering in his chest, and every of Conrad's steps made him more insecure.

All of a sudden he stopped and Gavin turned around. The first look he gave him was telling, and Conrad stared at him, full of anger and hatred.

Gavin frowned, but Conrad lashed out on him on the spot, without even giving him the chance to say anything.

"So what on earth made you think it would be a good idea to fuck my brother?" he asked, and Gavin would have preferred to sink into the ground. Just how Conrad looked at him was reason enough to rose shame inside of him.

And even if it seemed useless, Gavin tried to explain himself. "I... Conrad, I didn't mean to-" He almost stuttered, but Conrad didn't let him finish.

"I asked you a simple question, Gavin."

Gavin took a deep breath. "What should I tell you? It just happened!" He also didn't want to blow Connor's cover. It wasn't Gavin's task to confess to Conrad that his brother was in love with him...

So as himself...

But even this wasn't answer enough for Conrad. "At least you used a fucking condom!"

Now Conrad became unfair. Gavin didn't even have sex with someone else within the last weeks, and Conrad talked as if he was taking everything he was able to.

"What? Am I the bad guy now, or what?" Gavin asked, his mood now going a little downhill. He loved Conrad, but that didn't give him the privilege to talk to him like this. "Are you even aware of how your brother really is? He made a move on me!"

The moment he had spoken it out, he already regretted it, and Conrad replied to it just as he expected - and maybe Gavin had earned it.

"Desperate! You're pathetic, Gavin!" he stated and wasn't even finished. "You always knew I'm taking seriously if it comes to fucking your friends. I always admired your company and your trust. But Gavin, now you crossed the line."

Now Gavin got insecure because Conrad wasn't just right with what he said. He also hit a mark and didn't even know.

"Oh, come on. Your brother isn't that innocent like it seems." Gavin knew, everything he said, just made it worse.

"Watch your fucking mouth!" Conrad spat out, and Gavin flinched at the hardness in his voice.

When Conrad turned around and set himself in motion, it made Gavin nervous.

"Can't we discuss this, Conrad?" He wanted to kneel and beg him to stay, because the sudden feeling rose in him, if Conrad would leave now, everything would be over. He bit his lips. "Please?"

Conrad knew that Gavin just used this word if he really meant it. He stopped, and Gavin hoped, he would just turn around, but he didn't.

"You know how much you mean to me. Come on," he said, but already knew, that Conrad wouldn't budge.

His next words hurt Gavin deep inside.

"I can't. I have to think about it. You really hurt me with this, and I can't decide that yet."

Gavin tried to approach and soothe him, but it didn't work very well. "I'm sorry. I hope you know that. It was a mistake. I shouldn't have done that."

"I'm going to leave. Don't follow me, please!"

Gavin looked after him, and even if he respected Conrad's decision, Gavin was just about to go down on his knees.

When Conrad vanished in the darkness, Gavin dropped his glance and tried to embrace himself. His mouth escaped a shivering sob, together with a small cloud of warm breath.

He felt cold. Cold and lonely.


	2. Ripped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack Playlist for this fiction:
> 
> Chapter 1 - Ost: Starset - Perfect machine - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ir2d3Oyr9X4  
> Chapter 2 - Ost: Maroon 5 - Nobody’s love - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnA4O5_qj2I  
> Chapter 3 - Ost: Sleeping at last - I’ll keep you safe - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGuCscFcRFE

Gavin didn't know why he came here. There was just the fact that he didn't want to be alone. So he had gone to the coffee shop which gladly still was open.

This time he took one of the seats after he had gotten his coffee. While staring into the void, he sipped on his cup. His thoughts spun.

Everything was in turmoil. It wasn't just the fact that Gavin might have lost Conrad because he had thought with his dick once again. His father rather spent his time with some hookers than with his son, while Gavin's mother didn't even care about what the hell he was doing.

His life was a fucking mess.

Gavin wasn't able to hold on a single relationship. Neither with a friend nor with a lover! He wasn't even able to start something!

In a way, he hated the thought he had against Conrad. Even if Conrad was the one, who couldn't change anything in general: Gavin felt like shit, and the urge to leave everything behind kept him busy for at least 30 minutes.

"You didn't have a nice evening?" Gavin heard Kara's voice near him, and when he looked up, he saw that she had sat down across the table. Drinking a cup of coffee, she looked at Gavin.

If she only knew...

Inwardly, Gavin bet, she probably wouldn't even want to have anything to do with him if she only knew, how messed up he was.

"No," he replied, and Kara cocked her head. "Don't you have to work?" Gavin asked her politely. "I don't want to keep you from it, just because I seem like a pile of misery."

But Kara smiled. "I just have a short break, and I thought it would be nice to talk to you."

Gavin licked his lips. "You don't have to be nice and talk to me because of the change I'm always giving you." His voice sounded a little sad, and he saw how Kara's grin became bigger.

"That's the only reason I'm doing this, Gavin," she teased and took a sip of her coffee while looking at him.

And even if he wasn't in the mood to take a joke, he couldn't help but smirk.

"What are you doing, if you're not consuming coffee?" she wanted to know, and Gavin took a short moment to think about what to say.

"I'm- I'm studying Law Science at Detroit Mercy. I'm in my second year."

"Oh, so you're going to be a lawyer?"

Gavin was kind of impressed that she seemed to be that interested. "Well, that's the plan. If I'm not fucking up," he answered and lifted his eyebrows.

She just kept looking at him.

"But to be honest, at the moment I would do anything not being here." He sounded somber, and Kara took another sip of coffee.

A few moments later, she put down her cup and sighed. "My shift ends in around 30 minutes. Maybe a little leftover might lift your mood, hm?" she suggested, and Gavin didn't even know why in the world she was so nice to him.

"Okay," he said and showed her another smile when she stood up and left the table.

***

Gavin was pulled out of his thoughts again when a small packet appeared in his focus.

It was a chocolate chip cookie.

"Since you like these and sugar is known to lift the mood, I thought you probably could use one."

She was definitely too nice to him.

"Thank you," he said.

Gavin was busy to open the wrapper when Luther came over and put a key on the table.

"You good?" he asked Kara, and she nodded.

"Thank you, Luther," she replied, and Luther glanced over to Gavin, who just had taken a bit of the cookie.

"Keep your heads up, buddy," he said, and Gavin looked up to him and gave him a nod. "I'll see you tomorrow," Luther closed the conversation and Kara said her goodbye before he left.

Kara folded her arms on the table and kept looking at Gavin.

"The first time I saw him, I was right about to turn on my heel because he scared the shit out of me," Gavin admitted, and Kara chuckled. "Now that I know him a bit better, I know that it was the wrongest kind of first impression you can get of somebody."

But instead going deeper into that topic, Kara had her own questions. "Why does someone like you come to a coffee shop at this late hour?" she asked, and Gavin stopped chewing for a moment.

Then he swallowed and licked his lips. "I fucked up and didn't want to be alone. That's all!" he told Kara, and even if he spared out the details, it summarised everything on point.

Kara didn't want to dig deeper, but she bit her lips and tilted her head. "Sometimes you think you fucked up and it's not so bad after all," she said.

Gavin took another bite off his cookie and looked at her. "Well, if I have gone straight home, I wouldn't have a cookie now," he said and arched the edge of his mouth.

"Would you like another coffee?" she asked, and Gavin nodded after a short moment of hesitation.

After she had brought him another cup of coffee, Kara animated Gavin to open up. "Where do you come from?" she asked him.

"Farmington Hills... that direction. So, hometown isn't very far."

"Do you plan on leaving after graduating?"

"To be honest," Gavin started. "I'm not sure. At the moment, I would leave in an instant. But I don't know how things will develop," he explained. "What about you? How did you come here?"

Kara looked into the void for a moment. "I grew up in Michigan too. Near Ferndale. Later I moved but came back a year ago."

"Sounds like you can't let things go, huh?" Gavin asked and in his mind appeared the thought of himself, who wasn't able to do that either.

But Kara nodded. "If you want to put it that way," she replied, and Gavin smiled.

Talking to Kara made his night at least a little better. They kept on talking, and Gavin found out that Kara had been on the university as well. At least she had tried, but it didn't work out.

"I wanted to study educational but had to break up again. So, now I'm a barista, and I like it," she explained to him, and Gavin listened to her.

"What do you mean by 'I had to break up'? If I may ask, of course." Gavin looked at her with interest and Kara showed him a little smile.

"Because of Alice. My daughter."

Now Gavin lifted his brows. "You've got a daughter?" he asked. He just had thought Kara was very young. That she had a daughter made things even harder in Gavin's mind.

"Yes. She's turning eight in fall."

With everything Kara said, Gavin, got more and more interested. "And what are you doing, when you have to work? Do you-"

"She's got a good babysitter," Kara said, and Gavin wondered.

Something inside Gavin kept him from asking her about Alice's father. "And how are you dealing with all of this?" he asked and Kara teetered her head slightly.

"We're actually pretty good," she replied.

Gavin took a sip of his coffee, which was cold in the meantime. "I'm still amazed that you even considered talking to me."

Kara just smirked. "Think again, I'm doing this just because of the high amount of change you've given me, remember?" she teased him, and now Gavin laughed.

For a moment, they just shared a glance.

"May I bring you home, Kara?" Gavin asked a short while later. "I mean it's already late, and I would have a bad conscience to let you go home alone in the dark."

Since he sounded honest, Kara nodded. "Okay."

So they grabbed their jackets, and after Kara had locked up the coffee shop, they walked down the street.

Gavin didn't care that it was the opposite direction of his home, but he just couldn't reason it to let her go alone.

On their way, they didn't exchange a single word. But sometimes, when Gavin looked at her, she replied his glance. Gavin even had the thought, they walked way slower than necessary, and for the moment, he could actually forget what had happened throughout the day.

The place where Kara lived seemed very cosy. She had a small house, in one of the rooms, Gavin noticed a light.

Gavin accompanied her to the door, where she pulled the keys out of her bag and turned around.

"Well, it was a nice evening, Gavin," she said, and Gavin looked at her.

"Thanks for rescuing it," he replied, and she showed him another smile.

"You're welcome."

For a moment, she kept looking at him and then leaned forward, stood on her tip-toes and pecked his cheek. "Thanks for the company," she almost whispered and Gavin lifted his arm to touch hers before she turned around again and entered her house.

Gavin stood there for another second and smiled. He finally turned on his heel to make his way home. And somehow he felt way better than a few hours ago.

***

When Gavin woke up the other morning, he immediately thought of last night. The way he and Kara walked along the street when he had brought her home and how she had looked at him. And even if he didn't want to overestimate the slight peck on his cheek, he even thought about that particular moment.

After the disaster of the whole day, this little thing had been quite heartwarming.

Gavin took a look at the clock and realised that it was almost eight. But since it was Thanksgiving, he had time to relax a few more minutes in bed. He would be alone because nobody wanted to share time with him. However, maybe he could spend the day in silence or even go to the coffee-shop to get at least one coffee and see Kara.

Shortly after he got up and got a shower. Since he was alone in the flat, he took his time with that and washed away all the worries of the past day. Kara had managed to distract him within one of his worst moments, and Gavin was glad about it.

Later he cared for Simon's gecko and got him food and also fresh water. Somewhen he would also have a pet, even if he wasn't sure what he wanted. A dog would be great, but also a cat. Well, a cat just if his partner wanted one.

However, after he had finished his task, he had a small breakfast and spent some time in his room by doing chores. Way too many clothes laid on the floor and he definitely had to clean them up. Even if it was Thanksgiving, he gave a shit on the holidays and set up the washing machine.

While he waited, he flipped through different law books and learned particular paragraphs.

Through this time, he noticed that he became nervous. He looked almost every minute on the counter for the washing machine and couldn't believe that just a minute had passed. Deep inside, he knew that it was his urge to go and see Kara. But even if the tingling feeling in his guts was already a little too big, he tried to pull his shit together.

Because even if he tried not to think about Conrad, his words about being desperate and pathetic still echoed in his ear.

***

Around two hours later Gavin could finally leave the apartment and walk over to the destination he yearned for. Since most customers were from the university, it was very empty today. After he entered, Gavin went over to the cue and waited.

Kara saw him before it was even his turn and she smiled, what he replied.

When he arrived at the counter, Kara cocked her head. Gladly nobody else stood behind him. Just looking at Kara made him flutter inside, but since he had promised himself not to exaggerate, he kept himself calm - Or at least he tried.

"Back so soon?" she asked, and Gavin smirked.

"Couldn't end my morning without the typical amount of caffeine I guess," Gavin flirted.

"Didn't you say you would reduce it by buying decaf from now on?" Kara teased back.

"I did... But it didn't prove to be very efficient," he said, and Kara nodded.

"So, one Americano?" she asked him and Gavin agreed.

While he waited, he took a look around, and his gaze stopped by a table located a little in the back of the coffee shop. A girl sat on one of the benches, deep in her thoughts, and a card deck placed on the table.

"I see you already spotted Alice?" Kara asked him when she put down the coffee on the counter, and Gavin turned his head.

"This is Alice?" he asked, and Kara smiled.

"Yes. Since it's the holidays, I don't have anyone to watch over her, and so she came with me," Kara told him and Gavin gave her a warm smile. "If you want, you can join us in a break for a match of Slap Jack," Kara suggested, and Gavin lifted his brows.

"Slap Jack?" Gavin remembered it as one of the card games he had learned back then from his dad. Back then, when the days had been better.

"Yes, I just introduced it to her and she loves it."

"Sure!" Gavin said and took his cup. "I'm here for a while anyway," he said, and after they shared another glance, Gavin went over to one of the tables to sit down.

To keep himself busy, he had brought some law books to study and a notepad. But shortly after he witnessed something, what distracted him immensely.

It all started with a slightly high pitched voice of a guy and Gavin was pulled out of his thoughts, when a ceramic mug shattered on the floor. He lifted his gaze and turned his head. In front of the counter stood a male customer, who stared at Kara. The guy seemed very annoyed and pointed with his finger at her. Gavin didn't hear what they were talking about, but by his behaviour, the guy didn't seem to be nice to Kara.

Gavin tried to turn his head away to look back into his book because he didn't know what this was about, and in the end, it wasn't even his business. Luther had to step in and escort the guy outside. But what he said before he left, imprinted in Gavin's brain.

"You'll regret this, I swear!" he cursed and Luther, with his low-tone voice, shoved him out of the shop, while giving him the advice that he shouldn't try to enter the shop again.

Outside, the guy pulled out a cigarette and remained for a whole five minutes in front of the coffee shop. Gavin shook his head and took a look at Kara, but she seemed to be fine. She took a deep breath and checked her hair before she got back to work.

Inside Gavin, the thought appeared, that there was also another reason than Alice, why Kara may have come back to this town. But it could also be a wild assumption. Gavin just didn't know.

Before Kara would look over and see that he had witnessed these moments, he dropped his gaze and looked back into the book.

Not even ten minutes later, Gavin saw a shadow appearing beside his table, and he looked up. At the edge of his table stood Alice and glanced at him. The way she looked at Gavin seemed observing, attentive. Gavin immediately saw that Alice wasn't one of those kids who one could tell some bullshit without earning himself an ironic comment.

"What you're up to?" he asked, his tone polite and the girl bit on her lips and just sat down across the table and placing the card deck on the table.

"Mum said, you're bored and want to play some card games."

"She did?" Gavin asked and folded his arms on the table.

"Yes!" Alice's tone was well-considered, almost a little taunting as if Gavin had accused her lying.

"So," Gavin said and took a quick look at Kara while he pushed his books a little to the side. "What do you have in store?" Gavin asked and tilted his head, his eyes focused on Alice again.

"I can play Slap Jack, Go Fish/Fish, Snap and Memory." She didn't sound excited, but her look revealed that she hoped Gavin would play with her. "Do you know how to play these?"

Gavin bit the inside of his cheek. "I know, but I played them a long time ago. I would be glad if you explain again," he added and Alice reached out to give him the card deck.

"Can you mix them up? They're too many, and I can't shuffle them up in one go," she said, and Gavin complied.

"What's your name, by the way?" Gavin asked while shuffling up the cards, and Alice started kneading her hands. Sure, he already knew it, but he found it a little impolite not to ask.

"Alice," she answered. "But now you have to tell me your name too. Otherwise, it's unfair!"

Gavin smirked. "My name is Gavin," he replied and placed the shuffled up card deck in front of her again.

Of course, Gavin knew most of the rules of said card games, but he wanted to get to know Alice better. Also, it couldn't harm to get a refresh in terms of the games. Alice proved herself as a smart kid, who was able to explain things very easily. She also did it with so much honesty, that Gavin was slightly impressed.

"Don't go too hard on me. As I said, I played these a long time ago," Gavin said before they started a match of Slap Jack and Alice grinned.

Alice won the first match because Gavin let her win on purpose. She also won the second and third match, but the last one more out of the reason because Gavin got distracted by Kara, who was looking back and gave him a short smile when he looked over.

"Are you bullshitting me?" Alice asked, and Gavin was pulled out of Kara's glance.

Gavin looked at Alice. "What do you mean 'I'm bullshitting you'? Where did you even learn such a word?" he asked.

"Don't distract! You're letting me win on purpose, aren't you?"

"No! You're just a little faster than me," Gavin defended himself.

"Play! Honest!" Alice demanded, and Gavin lifted his eyebrows. "Okay? I'm not a little girl anymore!" For the seven years of age, Alice was highly determined, and Gavin nodded.

"Okay, Ma'am. As you wish!" Gavin gave back and had to suppress a grin.

They played three more matches, two won by Gavin. When he shuffled up the cards again, Kara came over and stopped by the table.

"Do you have fun?" she asked, and Gavin looked at her.

"Yes," Alice said with a smile, and Kara sat down beside her. "He's a bit annoying because he lets me win for a few times, but-"

Now Gavin frowned, and Kara chuckled. "I think Gavin just wants to be nice, Alice."

What a cunning little girl.

When Kara looped an arm around her daughter's shoulders, Alice snuggled close to her, and she looked at Gavin. Seeing them like this was just heartwarming. It caused inside Gavin the thought of his own mother and the wish she didn't have left him back then.

"Alice, dear, go and get yourself a cookie. I'm sure, Luther has one left," Kara said a few moments later, and Alice pecked her cheek before she left the bench.

"She's a smart girl," Gavin said in a low-tone, and Kara smiled.

"She is," Kara replied, her voice pregnant with pride.

The more Gavin saw, the more he thought about how nice it would be to be part of such a family. His wish to be in a relationship grew bigger again, but he still hesitated to make a move on Kara. Also, because there was Alice and to be honest: Maybe Kara didn't even want to be in a relationship after what Gavin had witnessed.

"Do you celebrate Thanksgiving later? With your family or something?" Kara asked him.

There it was again... The thought of his chaotic family and his dad.

"No, sadly, I don't. I guess I'm gonna have some take-away and an evening in front of the TV."

Kara took a minute to think before she made him an offer. "What do you think about coming over for dinner later?" she asked him, and Gavin had to swallow.

"You sure?" he asked, and Kara nodded.

"Yeah, why not? Luther will be there too and my brother, but there's enough food nevertheless."

Gavin showed her a warm smile and nodded. "Okay."

"At six?" she asked, and Gavin gave her another nod.

"At six!"

***

Gavin had never thought that he possessed not enough clothes. The moment he stood in front of his wardrobe proved him wrong.

To be fair, it was the first time he was worried about his outfit. He knew Kara's brother would be there, also Luther and Alice and he didn't want to look like the usual sloppy student he was. In the end, he grabbed for a blue shirt and some jeans.

When he looked into the mirror, while checking the shirt's collar, he had the thought that it was quite a while since he had gone to something like this. And if, he didn't make an effort to look so neat.

But maybe it was worth it - Even if he still didn't understand into what he was stumbling.

***

When Gavin stood in front of Kara's door, he felt his heart flutter. His hands seemed sweaty. He was very nervous. What if he was making a fool out of himself? He knew Luther and Kara a bit and even Alice, but not enough to be sure enough in terms of their opinion on him.

"There we go," he murmured and rang the doorbell.

It didn't take long until Kara opened. "Hey, you're right on time." She embraced him with one arm and with it, the slight hint of a decent perfume brushed his nose.

Kara looked nice in her black knitted turtleneck and those Slim-fit jeans. She even had put on a light Make-up. Gavin almost couldn't tear his eyes from her when she parted from him and led him into the house.

"I guess we're ready in five minutes. Just sit down if you like," Kara said and went over to the kitchen, where Gavin also saw Luther standing in front of the counter.

What Gavin saw, warmed up his heart. The furnishing of the house was cosy, it invited to sit down and just relax. It was the epitome of all the bits and pieces he knew about Kara until now. It looked a bit rustic, but still modern enough. And everything seemed so full of life that it was almost a bit eerie to Gavin.

His eyes wandered over to the part of the living room, where Alice sat with another man. Gavin guessed it was Kara's mentioned brother. He was around his age. They played Memory with the cards, and while Gavin was looking at him, he saw that the left side of his face was full of scars. He wasn't sure if his left eye was intact, but it looked as if something very bad had happened to him.

"You can't turn over another card, Ralph. That's against the rules!"

"Ralph can if they're all wrong! What have you done with this deck, Alice? They're all the same!" He leaned back. "Kara! Kara, Alice is cheating again!"

"I'm not! Ralph ignores the rules and doesn't admit it!"

"You're lying! Ralph doesn't cheat!" It sounded more vicious than it was meant to be and Gavin couldn't help but smirk.

The whole situation looked way funnier than it was probably supposed to be.

"I'm not lying!" Alice spat at him.

Now Ralph smashed the rest of the cards on the table, leaned back again and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Ralph doesn't want to play with Alice anymore. Alice is mean!"

While Gavin still thought about if it was a good idea to sit down beside them, Ralph and Alice started to bicker. It led to a small brawl, resulting in Alice laughing because Ralph tickled her.

"Will you stop doing this? You scare off our guest," Kara admonished them when she came over, and Gavin grinned.

Ralph let go of Alice, who sat beside Ralph again.

"This is my brother, Ralph. Ralph, this is Gavin. A friend," Kara explained, and Gavin looked at her.

Did she really consider him as a friend already? They exchanged glances for a moment before Gavin looked back at Ralph. "Hey, Ralph. Nice to meet you," he said, but Ralph consistently avoided his look and just nodded.

When Gavin looked at Kara again, she gave him a telling look, so Gavin decided to leave him be. In the end, he didn't know why Ralph was acting like this, but he also didn't want to dig deeper into it. It just wasn't his business, and he would take it, the way it was.

***

The dinner was delicious. Even if Kara probably didn't have that much time to prepare a usual Thanksgiving-Dinner, she really made an effort. Besides a turkey, they had Mac and Cheese, and also a few other side dishes. It was enough for every one of them.

Gavin couldn't even remember when he was that full last time. He leaned back in his chair and took a deep and satisfying breath. When he exchanged glances with Kara again, they just smiled, and everything around felt so warm, that Gavin didn't even know with what he had earned all this.

He also helped with doing the dishes, although Kara said it wasn't necessary. But he was glad that he could at least do something because she had invited him for the evening.

A little later, they went over to the couch, and Gavin took a seat beside Kara. While Alice was in her room, they played a card game, and even if Ralph sometimes exaggerated, they had a lot of fun.

Within these moments, Gavin realised, that there was something else than the bubble in which he lived until now. The misery he had gone through within the past few days. The whole construct of him, being a student, who always stood in the shadow of Conrad and Connor had been a thing that had kept him busy for the last few years. But all of this made no sense to pursue further.

Gavin would never be able to have Conrad as a partner. And even if he had considered him as a part of his family, their proximity would never become closer or as close as he wished. Conrad would remain a friend - given the possibility that everything would be okay somehow again.

"Hey, you're daydreaming?" Gavin heard Kara's voice beside him, and he turned his head.

"What?" he asked, and she smiled at him.

"It's your turn," Kara said and threw a look at the cards in his hands.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he excused himself and made his move.

***

Around ten Ralph said his goodbye, Luther left them half an hour later.

Alice, who had come back into the living room around an hour ago, now laid on the couch sleeping. Gavin eyed her for a moment until Kara came back from the door and looked at her.

"I'm gonna bring her to bed, okay?" she said, and Gavin nodded.

"Sure."

It didn't take long for her to return. She turned off the lights in the kitchen and dipped the living room into a cosy atmosphere.

When she sat down, Gavin became a little nervous. He didn't know what to say, but he didn't have to. Kara made it easy when she started to talk.

"Our family may be small, but it's family." The way she said it, didn't sound like an accusation, more like an explanation.

"Luther, he always helped me whenever he could. I know him since High School and be sure, I was really scared when I first saw him." The way she talked about him sounded loving, and Gavin chuckled because it reminded him of his first experience with Luther. "He helped me also to get this job, even if I wasn't qualified for it."

"He's a good man," Gavin mentioned, and Kara nodded.

"Yes, he is." She made a pause and hunched over, while Gavin leaned back on the couch and placed an arm on its backrest.

"Ralph is... a whole other story," she said, and her glance looked thoughtful. Kara threw a look at Gavin.

"I've seen his scars, but I didn't want to ask about it," Gavin stated.

"Around five years ago he was a normal guy with a job. He was very socially engaged and involved with different associations to help the poor. We can't even reconstruct what exactly happened. But one evening he and a colleague delivered food to some homeless people and got attacked. Not by the homeless, but by some other guys. Didn't work out so well for Ralph."

Gavin frowned. "Shit..." he stated.

"Since then he can't work anymore and fights PTSD. I'm trying to help whenever I can." As sad as it sounded, her way to deal with it was admirable. "I don't want to complain. We're still happy that he's as good as possible.

"I'm sorry about that, Kara," Gavin replied.

"We're trying to make the best out of it," she said and sounded very convincing. 

After a moment of silence, she leaned back on the couch and turned her head to Gavin.

"I'm still asking myself why you invited me. I mean, you surely didn't because of all the change, I guess," he joked, and Kara chuckled.

Before she answered his question, she leaned to the side, so she got very close and slightly leaned against him. When she lifted her gaze, he noticed that his mouth got dry, and for a second, he forgot to breathe.

"It's all because of the change, Gavin," she replied, and Gavin bit his lips. "Actually I did it because I like you."

Everything inside Gavin became warm, and he felt, how his heart pounded against his chest. The longer she looked at him, the higher it wandered, up to his throat.

When she cupped his cheek and brushed over his stubble with her thumb, Gavin had to swallow. The many thoughts he had, about not being able to feel something for someone else than Conrad, faded.

Gavin had to admit that he liked her. He really liked her.

But now Gavin experienced something he never experienced before.

Within an instant, he was scared of Kara kissing him.

It wasn't that he didn't want to. It was because he didn't want to rush things. When Kara approached him, their noses touched, they brushed against each other, and Gavin sensed Kara's breath on his lips.

"You sure, you want that?" Gavin whispered.

"You?" Kara whispered back, and Gavin didn't know what to answer.

Gavin almost melted in her words and closed his eyes. When she touched his lips with hers, they just brushed softly against each other. It was chaste, followed by both smiling. He still shivered inside and licked his lips before they finally pressed their lips together.

When they parted, Gavin placed his arm around her shoulders and gently stroked her. They looked into each other's eyes, and now Kara snuggled closer to lean her head against his chest. Gavin placed another kiss on her hair and noticed her perfume again, which was quite nice.

Just now, Gavin realised that the shirt he wore was way thinner than his usual clothes. He noticed her warm breath through the fabric, her fingertips against his body, and it felt highly appealing. Even more, than she was probably aware.

As touch-starved as he was, he didn't want to ruin the situation, and Gavin hoped, his mind wouldn't trick him - Just this one time.

"Your heart is racing," she stated, and he chuckled.

"Well, it's not every day that I have a beautiful girl like you in my arms," he flirted, and Kara looked up at him.

When their lips met again, Gavin pushed her gently against himself, and she palmed his neck. But again, he held himself back because he didn't want to lose control. Then he pulled back, even if he didn't want to and leaned his forehead against hers.

"I... don't wanna go. But I have to," he murmured and hoped she wouldn't take it the wrong way.

"It's okay," she replied.

"I really like you..." Gavin said and kissed her again. "Do we see each other tomorrow?" he added and placed another kiss on her lips.

"Of course. If I'm not at the coffee-shop, just come over, okay?" she said, and Gavin nodded.

He stole another kiss from her and pulled her in a gentle hug, which she replied.

Before Kara opened the door, they kissed one more time and Gavin brushed over her cheek and looked into her eyes. "Have a good night, Kara. And thank you for the nice evening."

"Thanks for coming," she replied. "See you tomorrow."

On Gavin's way home, he thought about what he did. Honestly, he would have given the world to spend the night with Kara, but he didn't want to rush things - Not yet! He had to think about what happened, and he had to get his head clear.

Because for the first time, Gavin didn't want to start something with the risk that he would end it sooner or later, because Conrad was still in his mind.

That thing with Kara was fragile at this point. If he made a mistake now, he would ruin it. But if there was something he was sure about, then about the fact that he liked Kara more than many people he had used as a distraction in his past - With the difference, that Kara wasn't a distraction at all.

***

When Gavin woke up the other morning, the first thing that appeared in his mind was his first kiss with Kara. Even now, his heart beat faster when he thought about her soft lips, how she had kissed him and how good it had felt when she snuggled up to him.

Gavin took a deep breath.

As enchanted as he was, he had to make sure that this thing with Kara was it - The thing he always wanted. Because this time he didn't want to hurt the person he was about to start something new with.

Gavin had to ask himself, how much Conrad meant to him and if he would honestly give everything up for him. With Kara, Gavin would maybe have a chance. She knew what life was all about, and she already had Alice. With her, a relationship would be way different. No games to play, no insecurities... No more questions.

With her, he probably could have the family he ever wanted.

Honestly - Who really cared for him?

His mother didn't even say goodbye the day she vanished.  
His dad preferred the company of hookers over his son.

And Conrad... Conrad didn't even want to be a relationship. Gavin would give himself up by clawing onto something he couldn't have. And now, that everything seemed shattered with him and Conrad, Gavin didn't even know, if everything would be okay ever again.

Conrad's and his friendship would probably never be the same again. Gavin didn't know.

Kara had been honest with him from the beginning when she had told him that she had a daughter. And when she had introduced him to her small family. And Gavin had the impression that even Alice seemed to like him.

For Gavin, it became clear that he wanted to give Kara and himself a chance.


	3. Belonging

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack Playlist for this fiction:
> 
> Chapter 1 - Ost: Starset - Perfect machine - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ir2d3Oyr9X4  
> Chapter 2 - Ost: Maroon 5 - Nobody’s love - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnA4O5_qj2I  
> Chapter 3 - Ost: Sleeping at last - I’ll keep you safe - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGuCscFcRFE
> 
> \---
> 
> The used terms for Kara's genitals are: Folds, Feminity, Nub, Heat

Gavin went down the street. It was already four in the afternoon and slowly getting dark. First, he had tried to get in contact with Kara at the coffee-shop. But Luther said, her shift had ended at noon. So he had decided to visit Kara at home, just as she had told him.

He looked forward to see her again, but what he witnessed, wasn't what he expected.

Gavin was just about 50 feet away from his destination when he saw a guy, who stood on Kara's porch and knocked on her door. "Kara! I know you're home! Open the door!" he demanded, but Kara didn't comply.

Just now Gavin recognized the guy as the one who had been at the coffee-shop yesterday, who was thrown out by Luther.

"I'll never ask you again for something. Just please open up!" His tone wasn't very polite, and Gavin doubted he would honestly leave her alone, even if she would open the door.

"Fine! I'm gonna tell the Youth Welfare Office how you are handling Alice. I'm curious about how they'll like it." he shouted, and now Gavin frowned, just before the guy fell back into his previous behaviour.

He knocked on her door again. "Come on, open the door!"

But now Gavin had enough. He went over to Kara's porch and even if the guy was a few inches taller than him, he intervened. "Hey, hey! Don't you think, it's enough?" he asked him and the guy, completely surprised, turned around. "She obviously doesn't want to talk to you."

Then he narrowed his eyes. "Ohh, guess who it is. The rebound guy! Promise, it won't last a week!"

With these words on his lips, Gavin heard enough to get a good impression of him. "Okay, you're gonna take a break!" he said and grabbed him by his lapel to shove him a few steps away. Now Gavin stood between him and Kara's porch, but the guy didn't stop.

"You have no idea what you're stumbling into," the guy stated, but Gavin shook his head.

"Just fuck off, okay? I'm not interested in your bullshit." Gavin didn't want to get into an argument with the guy, but if needed, he would do what was necessary.

"Aww, what you're doing if I'm not, huh? Do you want to teach me some manners?" he asked in a rude tone.

"Don't piss me off, I'll warn you," Gavin responded.

Now the door opened a slit wide. "Come in, Gavin. Come! This guy isn't worth it," Kara asked him and Gavin was just about to turn around, when the guy said something, that Gavin just couldn't take that easily.

"Bet your mom didn't treat you well, so you'll have to find another one!"

Within an instant, Gavin turned around, swung his fist and punched the guy on his mug. He stumbled backwards, and just now Gavin realised that he had hit harder than his fist could take it.

"FUCK!" he cursed, and while he was busy to get back his composure, the guy had lunged his fist and Gavin got hit the next moment. The guy had hit him right into his face!

The bridge of his nose hurt like hell, and for a moment, his eyesight was unfocused. He shook his head, hoping that it would get better and then he saw, how Kara came out of the house, armed with a pipe wrench.

"Just go, Wesley! I swear, I'm gonna call the cops," she threatened, and since the guy was bleeding, he let it go.

Without any further words he left, and Kara came back to Gavin, who was bleeding too.

"Come..." she said and grabbed him by his arm to take him inside.

***

"Why did you even start that argument with him? I was worried," Kara said, but Gavin didn't answer.

It was heartwarming, how she looked at him and told him that she was worried, while she was busy with cleaning his wound.

Yes, it fucking hurt. But just the view of Kara, caring for it was worth it. She dabbed his wound with a compress and cleaned it with an antiseptic. Alice sat on the couch and looked over to them. This whole incident had scared her, but now that it was over, she was fine.

"That will leave a scar. What a shame," she mused, and Gavin was just looking at her, almost enchanted.

"Who was this f- guy anyway?" Gavin asked then, trying to hold back some curse words, and Kara bit her lips before she turned her head.

"Alice, dear. Can you bring me one of the small towels, please?" she asked her and Alice complied. When she had left the room, Kara looked at Gavin again. "His name is Wesley. He's-" It didn't seem so easy for her to tell him.

"He's my ex. We quitted around a year ago. But if he has his bad days, he still shows up and asks me for money. In the beginning, I gave it to him. In the meantime, I know it was a mistake. I felt guilty because I quitted the relationship, not him."

Gavin still found it remarkable, how she opened up to him. She didn't even need to explain it to him, but she did it anyway.

"Why did you even react to that stupid thing?" Kara asked him, and Gavin dropped his glance.

"He offended my mother." He paused and looked back at her again. "My mother left my father and me when I was seven without saying a single word, nor a goodbye."

Kara stopped within her movement and looked into his eyes. Since her hand already cupped his cheek, she now brushed with her thumb over his stubble.

"Kara, I-" he started, but then Alice came back and gave her mother the towel she had asked for.

"Thank you," Kara said.

Now, Alice looked at Gavin. "You hit him right in the mug."

"I did," Gavin replied and looked at her from the side, while Kara was still busy with his wound.

"Why?" she asked, and Gavin licked his lips.

Gavin had to watch his mouth. In front of Alice, he didn't want to use curse words. In a way, he didn't want to be a bad influence. "Because he said something mean to me."

"You shouldn't do that. Mum always says that such brawls are just for stupid people."

"Did she say that?" Gavin said and smirked at Kara, who smirked back.

"Yes, she did. And you aren't stupid, are you?" Alice asked, and Gavin looked back at her again.

"I guess not. My grades say I'm doing pretty well." Gavin found her highly amusing.

Now Kara took his right hand and checked his knuckles. His skin had bruised a bit.

"Does that hurt?" Kara treated the slight wounds with some antiseptic.

"Not much, but-" Suddenly, when Kara touched the knuckle of his middle finger, he drew some air through his teeth. "Ouch, for fu-gnnn..." He almost bit on his tongue to avoid cursing.

"Can you move them?" Kara asked, and Gavin moved his fingers a bit. "I guess it's not broken. You just should take it slow for a few days," she concluded and let him go.

"Thank you," he said, and Kara nodded.

"You're welcome. What doesn't mean I'm gonna patch you up again if you have another brawl, you hear me?" she told him, and he smiled at her.

"Yes, Ma'am," he teased, still having a smile on his lips.

***

Kara had made them some turkey-sandwiches, and now they sat at the kitchen table to eat them.

"I still have some desserts in the fridge for later," she said and took another bite.

Gavin, who still had his mouth full, looked at her and admired her kindness again. When he swallowed, he licked his lips.

In between, they exchanged glances, and Gavin smiled at her. For Alice, it seemed absolutely natural to sit with them and to accept Gavin as a friend. She didn't intervene, even talked to Gavin if they discussed about an interesting topic.

Gavin just had wiped his mouth with a napkin and looked at her. "Go and get your card deck. I wanna show you something," he said and saw, how a smile rose on Alice's face.

Kara looked at him, her glance asking.

But instead of saying something, he just winked at her and the other second Alice already came back.

She placed the deck on the table and Gavin took it in his hands.

While he turned the last card of the deck upside down, he tried to distract Alice. "Do you know card tricks?"

"No. I mean, I've seen some on TV, but no one showed me some until now," she replied.

"I'm gonna show you one. Look," Gavin said and spread some of the upper cards. "Take one."

"One particular."

"No, any card you want," Gavin asked her. "Take one card, look at it and keep it to yourself, what it is, okay?" Alice nodded and complied.

Alice looked at the card for a while and then back at Gavin.

"Okay?" he asked, and Alice nodded. "Good," Gavin said and took the card back without looking on it, placed the card deck on the table and shoved her card into the middle of the deck.

When he took the whole deck in his hands again, Alice's glance wandered between him and her card deck. She seemed curious what this was all about.

"Now I'm gonna try to find your card again," Gavin said, but Alice narrowed her eyes.

"You can't do that, do you?"

But Gavin just smirked, placed the card deck on the table again and spread it. Alice's card revealed itself because it was turned upside down and Gavin pulled it out of the deck. When he showed it to Alice, her mouth opened in surprise. "Is that it?" he asked her, and she grinned while nodding. "See, I told you I would find it!"

"Mum, how did he do that?" she asked and Gavin, slightly proud of himself, that he didn't forget that one fucking card trick he had learned from his dad, shuffled up the cards again and placed them on the table.

He threw a glance over to Kara. "Maybe he's a magician," she said and gave him a warm smile.

***

"You really impressed her with that card trick," Kara murmured, while they laid on the couch.

It had gotten late, and after Alice went to bed, Kara and Gavin had made themselves comfortable in the living room. The TV ran, but they didn't really watch it.

Kara lifted her head and looked at Gavin, who looked back. "She likes you," she said, and Gavin brushed through her hair. "It's not often that she opens up to a new person in our life."

Gavin smiled. "I like her, too," he muttered and stretched his head to nudge Kara's nose with his. "Like you," he added, and a moment later Kara kissed him. It was a sweet kiss, still cautious, but very warm.

When she pulled back, she placed her head on his chest again, and her fingertips brushed over the printed letters on his shirt.

"The card trick is one of the few things my dad taught me. Sadly, our relationship isn't as good as it should be." Within the last days, Kara had opened up to him. Freely. Now he wanted to give a little bit of trust back to her.

She looked at him but didn't interrupt him.

"One day back then when I was seven, I came home from school, and my dad told me that mum's gone. I asked him what he meant, but he didn't give me an answer."He paused and dropped his glance. "He never did. But I didn't ask him further either."

Kara listened to him.

"Through the years, he became more and more depressed. Somewhen he started to drown his sadness in alcohol. He never neglected me, nevertheless. I just... I had a father and simultaneously didn't, you know? However, when I was 17, I moved out, ended High School and went to university. We're still in contact, but within the last years, we see each other just once in a while. Mostly on Thanksgiving and Christmas."

Now Kara narrowed her eyes. "Thanksgiving?"

"Yes. On Tuesday he wrote a short message that I shouldn't come home because of an appointment. That he doesn't have time for me." He shook his head slightly. "I don't even want to think about that anymore."

"I'm so sorry, Gavin."

He shook his head again. "You don't have to. To be honest, you saved my whole Thanksgiving this year. Without you, I would have been alone for the whole time."

Kara snuggled a little closer to him. "I'm happy I did."

They shared another kiss and Gavin couldn't be happier.

"Would you like it to do something with us tomorrow? With Alice and me?" Kara asked him a short while later, and he lifted his eyebrows.

They would be together somewhere. Just the three of them. It almost sounded too good to be true.

"I would love to. What do you have in mind?" Gavin asked, and Kara smirked.

"I would have suggested visiting the zoo, but since it's so cold, I thought about the aquarium. I wanted to surprise Alice with it. Would you like that?" Kara said.

"I would love to join you," Gavin replied.

A short while later they still laid on the couch and in between their kisses, Gavin noticed more and more how comfortable he got with Kara. If he was honest, he didn't want to go home again that night. But he also didn't want to hurry everything.

Kara instead, had other plans.

"What if you stay here for the night?" When she saw Gavin's glance, she added: "On the couch!"

Gavin frowned and nodded. "Of course. Didn't... I didn't mean to-"

She laid a finger on his lips to shut him up. "We can have breakfast tomorrow, and after that, we'll drive to the aquarium. And with the rest of the day... We'll see. Okay?"

Gavin nodded again, and she took her finger away. "I won't contradict!" he said, and she smiled at him.

"Good."

They smiled at each other and once more, Kara stretched her head to kiss him.

***

When Gavin laid on the couch later on the verge of sleeping, he thought about the day. His nose still hurt, but he didn't care. He would do it again - Always, if it was for her!

The endearment Kara had given him within the short amount of time they had shared, was unbelievable. Every time she looked at him, he noticed a sudden warmth spreading in his guts. The way she smiled at him made him smile as well. When she talked with Alice and how Alice reacted to her...

Every little bit of her reached and caressed his heart. Even if Gavin had never been a guy, who was easily enchanted by something - Kara had turned his whole world upside down within a few days. She curved his edges and furthermore-

Gavin felt loved.

He wanted this... And he was even willing to wait for the right moment to tell her.

***

But how things are, they didn't work out as planned - Not completely.

It was an almost brutal knock on the door that woke Gavin up and the first time he flinched, still half-asleep. The second time, he rolled down the couch and fell on the floor.

"Ouch..." he grumbled and rubbed his head since it was the first thing with what he had contact on the floor. "For fuck's sake..." it escaped his mouth.

The next moment Kara went by and looked through the window beside the door and then opened it. While Gavin still sat on the floor, just in his T-shirt and some boxers, entangled in the blanket Kara had given him, Ralph stepped over the threshold.

"Ralph, what's going on?" Kara sounded worried and the look, Ralph gave her, was fidgety.

"They've sent Ralph a letter. Ralph doesn't know what to do with it. Kara must help Ralph. Ralph... Ralph... They can't..."

For Gavin, it looked as if Ralph was about to have a breakdown.

"Shhhhhh..." Kara tried to calm him down and grabbed him by his shoulders and brought him over to the kitchen to sit down. "Where's the letter?" she asked.

Gavin followed everything just with a look over the backrest of the couch. He also didn't want to intervene, since Ralph already had eyed him very sceptical on Thanksgiving. But he listened to the conversation.

As far as he understood, the authorities wanted to shorten his benefits. And now, Ralph was worried he couldn't pay his monthly rent anymore. The way he talked showed Gavin that it was really hard for him, and even when Kara tried to calm him down, she didn't manage.

But then a thought in Gavin's mind appeared. With his blanket wrapped around his body, he stood up and looked at them. Ralph didn't even notice that he was here and now looked at him, to avoid his glance the next second.

"Maybe I'm able to help you with that," Gavin said. "At least I can find out if it's legit or not."

Kara's eyes widened, and now she turned her head to Ralph. "He's studying Law Science. He knows such details and the exact paragraphs. Right, Gavin?" she said and looked back at him.

He nodded. "I could research if you need help with that. I can't assist you to contradict since I don't have a license yet, but I can tell you what you have to pay attention to and stuff."

Kara looked at him in relief.

"You would do that for Ralph?" Ralph asked, and it was the first time he spoke directly to Gavin.

"Yes, of course," Gavin replied, and Ralph exchanged glances with Kara.

"You can trust him. He won't harm you," she said, and Ralph dropped his gaze.

"Ralph is sorry if he seems to be ignorant or mad. Ralph is just scared," Kara's brother said a few moments later, and Kara threw an encouraging look at Gavin.

"It's okay, Ralph. Don't worry," Gavin replied, and Ralph approved with a nod.

***

The morning didn't quite start off as planned. But after Ralph had said his goodbye and Gavin had reassured him, that he would have some results by the start of the week, Kara prepared a small breakfast. When she revealed to Alice that they would visit the aquarium, the girl got excited. She even asked, full of joy, if Gavin would accompany them.

Later, when they arrived at the aquarium, Kara and he strolled through the hallways, the whole place dipped in blue shimmering light. It wasn't very crowded. Gavin had been in an aquarium years ago on one of his school trips, but he couldn't remember that it was so relaxing. Well, relaxing and a little exciting because inwardly, he just wanted to tell Kara his feelings for her.

Kara just glanced at him, and he felt caught. Caught, because he was looking at her every so often, while she followed Alice with her eyes.

The girl stood in front of a big glass pane and watched a small group of turtles when Kara and Gavin stopped in a few steps of distance.

Kara's gaze seemed a little worried when she spoke up to Gavin. "My life seems to be good, but it isn't easy." Now she looked over to him. "There are many problems, and I want you to know that before you stumble into something you might underestimate."

But Gavin frowned and turned a little to the side to glance at her. He brushed her cheek for a moment and arched the edge of his mouth to a smile. "Kara, I... You honestly have no idea what I was going through either." For a moment, he dropped his gaze but then lifted it again. "I thought about this since you invited me for Thanksgiving and..."

Gavin bit his lips when he noticed his heart beating up to his throat. Everything fluttered, it almost felt unreal. But the look into Kara's eyes told him that it was the right decision and in a way he knew, that it was one of those, which couldn't be any clearer.

"I can't believe it myself how everything turned so fast, but... I want this. I want you, this life with all of its consequences and..." He threw a quick look at Alice. "I wanna give us a chance. Really," he added.

"Are you sure?" she asked him, and her look was telling. Telling that it would break her heart if he would say otherwise, but she would take it, nevertheless.

"I am," he said, and just to pull the conversation into a humorous direction, he added: "But be sure, I'm gonna annoy you sooner or later anyway. So you honestly should think about kicking me in the butt as long as you're able to. Be warned."

She laughed, and it was so heartwarming that it filled Gavin with joy. Kara embraced Gavin at his neck, whereas he placed an arm around her lower back. With her, being a few inches smaller than him, his protective instinct kicked in, and it just felt right. For a moment, he leaned his forehead on hers and placed a short kiss on it.

When they moved on, Gavin grabbed for her hand and didn't leave it again.

***

For Gavin, it was clear that he wouldn't leave for the night if Kara didn't want to.

When Alice went to bed, Kara came back into the living room. Gavin sat on the couch, comfortable and filled with some take-away, they had picked up on their way home.

A few moments later, he heard the sound of low-tuned music, and he turned his head. At the backrest of the couch stood Kara, looking down on him and holding out a hand.

"Come... I want you to dance with me," she said, and he grinned.

"Believe me. You have no idea what you're getting yourself into by asking me to dance."

She showed him a cheeky smile. "Well, we'll see."

Gavin cocked his head, but couldn't resist. So he stood up and joined her. It was a nice, slow, but also bouncy kind of music, so he didn't have to perform a complicated dance. They started with the typical dance-pose but became closer within minutes.

"You made me very happy today," she murmured.

"And the day isn't even over," he replied, and Kara smiled at him.

It was enough for Gavin to place his arms around the small of Kara's back, while she embraced him at his neck. They swayed a bit on the spot and looked into each other's eyes. It was quite nice.

When she cupped his cheek and brushed over his stubble, Gavin took a deep breath. He couldn't remember when he had danced last time with a girl - or a boy -, but it wasn't important anymore. The feeling of having Kara in his arms filled him with satisfaction, and now that it was finally out that he was in love with her, it was everything he needed.

He lowered his head to kiss her, and one of her hands wandered through his hair. Gavin gently nipped on her lips, and their kisses got deeper. She touched his lips with her tongue-tip, whereas he slightly opened his mouth to lure her inside.

Gavin's hand hovered over Kara's side upwards, over to her shoulder-blades and she arched her back in his arms. When he started to pepper her neck with further kisses, she sighed softly and placed a kiss on his ear.

He pulled back because he didn't want to overpower her and leaned his forehead against hers while looking into her eyes.

A few moments later, she signalled him to lift her, and her glance went over to the bedroom. His gaze was asking, and she smiled. Then he lifted her on his hips, went over to the music box and turned it off. Their way to the bedroom was filled with kisses, and Gavin just barely managed to push the light switch. He closed the door of the bedroom with his back and carried Kara over to the bed.

Gavin had never seen her bedroom from the inside, but it was just as cosy as the rest of the house.

He placed her down on the bed and leaned over her, his lips still connected to hers. He could have been forceful and literally rip off her clothes, but he waited for her signals. Gavin looked at her with watchful eyes and worshipped every part of her body, which he slowly but surely freed from the clothes.

"Please, stay quiet..." she murmured in between the kisses and Gavin looked at her for a short moment and nodded. He already had assumed that Kara didn't want Alice to hear them and for Gavin, who was used to stay silent, it was okay.

When she laid below him, just wearing a panty and her bra, his lips caressed her collarbone and drew a slow way down to her sternum.

She started to pull at his shirt after he had stripped off his hoodie-jacket and helped him out of it. Her hands on his naked skin felt electrifying. So as her touch on his sides, over to his chest, down to his stomach.

Their lips just parted barely, when they needed to breathe, and when Kara unbuckled Gavin's belt, he helped her and opened his button fly. Feeling her hand on his skin made him fidget after she had slipped behind the elastic of his shorts. So different to many things he had experienced until now, Kara knew how to touch him, how to make him feel good and then shoved down his pants and shorts so he could get rid of them.

He helped her to take off the bra, combined with kisses and gentle strokes, before he pushed her down on the mattress again and kissed his way down her sternum, just to lap on her soft skin around her belly. When his tongue circled her navel, his fingers hooked below her panty but didn't pull it down. Instead, he wandered down with his mouth and put one kiss beside the other, nuzzled on her thigh and sucked carefully on her skin.

Kara sighed silently when he finally pulled down the panty and positioned himself between her legs. His hands laid on her stomach, while he supported his body on his elbows and lowered his head to let her feel his warm breath on her skin. It had been a while since Gavin had done that the last time, but he knew, where to stroke, lick and suck to make her lose it.

His tongue slipped along her folds, dipped slightly into her. With his lips, he encircled her nub and stimulated it with his tongue-tip, until she desperately had to suppress a moan.

"Didn't you say, we should be quiet?" he teased, and Kara panted before he gave her the full width of his tongue. She squirmed under his touch and the sounds she emanated, just encouraged him to go on.

Just when she seemed to be on the verge to a climax, Gavin stopped and crawled back up to her. Her body shivered in his arms, and she snuggled closer when he laid down beside her. They shared a few moments of proximity, without even stimulating each other and just enjoyed the heat of the moment.

"Do you have any...?" he asked softly, kissed her and Kara looked at him.

"Bedside table, first drawer."

Gavin reached for it and picked up a condom. "Didn't work very well until now with being quiet, did it?" he teased her, bit on his tongue and arched an eyebrow, while he opened the wrapper.

She chuckled and stretched her head for another kiss. "Back then, I didn't know about your nimble abilities."

"How bold of you to underestimate me," he said cheekily and applied the condom to his dick.

Meanwhile, Kara shoved down the blanket a bit and invited Gavin to join her to slip into the sheets.

Gavin didn't hesitate and leaned over her, just to urge himself between her legs.

"I didn't... I just... wasn't sure," she murmured, her voice a little insecure.

Gavin noticed, that Kara was just as nervous as himself.

He took another moment to appreciate her eyes, by looking at her, cupping her cheek and kissing her. Gavin's hand made its way downwards, over her collarbone, he cradled her breast and softly thumbed her nipple before he wandered deeper.

When he leaned a little forward and gave himself a hand, he just eyed Kara, and she looked back, her eyes half-shut. He was careful after he entered her, but thrust his way forward. Every time he noticed a sudden resistance, he pulled slightly back, just to push himself a little deeper.

His hand wandered to her hip and grabbed for her thigh, to adjust him even better. His heart already beat faster, now it hammered against his chest and Kara below him, tried to sustain the silence. He slowly stretched her, what caused her to bite back a moan. She pressed her head into the pillow and the deeper he dived into her delicate heat, the more he lost himself in her. To shut her off, Gavin kissed her passionately.

Gavin slowly increased his pace and tried for himself to stay as quiet as possible. He had never been very loud in bed, but what he experienced with Kara, had another quality. It made him protective and vulnerable at the same time. Seeing her lay beneath him and hearing her whimper, captured him to the fullest and urged him, just to cry out his desire.

Again and again, he grinded his way into her, showered her with kisses and noticed, when her nails dug into his back's skin. He jerked when Kara convulsed around him and suffocated a faint cry with a kiss when she couldn't hold it anymore.

Through his last thrusts, Gavin didn't feel like himself anymore. He looked into Kara's eyes, whose pupils were dilated and he died his little death when she reached for his chin and kissed him softly on his mouth.

He pressed his pelvis against her and closed his eyes shut. Gavin twitched another few times and then opened his eyes again to see a satisfied smile on her lips. He couldn't help but smile back, and she pulled him into her embrace, followed by another deep kiss.

***

It wasn't long after they parted and Kara had fallen asleep in Gavin's arms. He still eyed her in the shine of the moonlight, which shone through the bedroom window.

Her breath was even, her skin still warm from the aftermath. When Gavin brushed over the skin of her upper arm, Kara snuggled closer, and he dug his nose in her tousled hair. If it was up to him, it could stay like this forever.

It was the moment he realised that he didn't even think of Conrad for once while being intimate with her. Maybe it was the point he finally could let him go. At least in terms of his wish to have a relationship with him. Maybe this was his way, together with Kara and Alice.

Gavin stroked once more through her hair and sensed her lips on his throat, where she kissed him. He looked down on her and saw that she had opened her eyes. They shared a glance, and then she pushed him on his back to sit astride on him.

The contours of her body looked beautiful in the moonlight. When she started rolling her hips in a slow pace and Gavin sensed her femininity on his dick, he just took a deep breath and forgot everything around them...

***

Her head and upper body still laid on Gavin's chest when he woke up the other morning. One of his hands was placed on her shoulder, while his other was interlaced with Kara's. He turned his head to dig his nose into her hair and inhale her scent.

Just the thought to wake up like this every morning reduced his urge to get up so soon. Gavin placed a kiss on her forehead and heard her sigh slightly.

Gavin had to suppress a hearty yawn, and that made Kara lift her head. She supported it with her chin on his chest and looked at him, her glance still a little tired. "Good morning," she muttered.

"Morning," he replied and lifted his head to kiss her.

"Did you sleep well?" Kara asked him, and he had to grin.

"Well... I had to fight off a little distraction, but besides that..." He pursed his lips, and Kara chuckled when he fell into a grin.

She circled his sparsely spread chest hair with a fingertip.

It was too early to confess their love for each other. But when they exchanged another glance, they knew what the other thought - without even saying a single syllable.

***

_"Is Conrad with you?"_

The message of Connor arrived Gavin in the middle of his breakfast with Alice and Kara.

"No, did something happen?"

_"I probably did something very very stupid."_

"Connor, what the fuck happened?"

Gavin became a little impatient, but considering the facts, he inwardly already knew what happened.

_"I told him everything... We had sex. Now he's gone and doesn't answer me."_

"Oh my gosh..." Gavin thought, but didn't tell Kara anything about it.

"I'm not at home, but I'm gonna search him and talk some sense to him."

_"Please, Gavin."_

"Calm down and don't pee your pants. If he's not coming home, I'll kick his ass, alright?"

_"Okay, thank you, Gavin."_

Gavin sighed and placed his smartphone back on the table. He had to do something, but without making a fuss out of it.

"I'll go to my dorm and get some things. Furthermore, I have to go to the campus and do something," Gavin said while they ended their small breakfast.

Kara looked at him with interest, but also a little worried.

"Nothing serious. I just have to talk to a friend and clear things up. I also wanted to take a look for a particular book because of that thing from Ralph," he explained, and Kara smiled.

"Okay. Should I count you in for lunch?" she asked, and Gavin tilted his head.

"Yeah, why not? - But just if it's not too much effort."

"It isn't," she replied.

"So you're coming back, right?" Alice asked him, and Gavin looked over to her.

"Of course I do."

"Good," Alice said and then did something, that even surprised Gavin. She stood up and came over to him, to hug Gavin. "Because I like you and I would find it stupid if you wouldn't come back."

Gavin threw a slightly confused glance at Kara and saw her palming her mouth because Alice's action touched her deep inside. He bit his lips, and when Alice let him go, he took her hand and looked at her. "If I'm telling you I'm coming back, I'll come back. You hear me?" he asked her and Alice nodded. "Okay," Gavin said and let go of her.

A few minutes later Gavin said his goodbye and gave Kara another kiss before he left.

The early morning air was cold, and it smelled as if it would snow within the next hours. Gavin knew he had to talk to Conrad. He had to tell him what had happened with Connor. He also had to clear things up. Once and for all.

He finally accepted that Conrad would always remain his friend. But nothing more...

_  
*****EPILOGUE*****  
_

It was an evening in August when Gavin sat on his bench in the coffee-shop where everything had started. The day had been warm, and he just had closed his law book, when a shadow appeared beside his table.

"Is this seat free?" Gavin heard Conrad's voice, and he lifted his head to show him a cheeky grin.

"What about no? They don't serve to heretics who prefer the universities dirty bean water!" he teased, and Conrad sat down, nevertheless.

"How you're doing, Gavin?" he asked, and Gavin, who now leaned back on the bench and eyed him for a moment, nodded slightly. Sometimes, when he saw Conrad these days, he wore a simple shirt and still asked himself, how Connor had managed, to convince his brother to wear something different than his fucking turtleneck.

They still saw each other regularly at the university, but they no longer remained inseparable. Conrad had his hands full with Connor, so as Gavin with Kara and Alice.

"I'm fine. How's it with you?"

"I might have a job prospect," Conrad explained. "It looks really good."

"And what does Connor think about that?"

Conrad tilted his head. "I mean, you know him. He's already exaggerating and doesn't get tired to remind me of being his... husband, who isn't allowed to leave him."

"Oh, we changed the relationship state again as it seems," Gavin sneered. "Did you do something I don't know about?"

They both knew it was an absolute banter when Gavin talked like this and that Connor would never be Conrad's husband. Connor just loved this term to mock Conrad, if he did something, Connor didn't agree with. Otherwise, Conrad remained his 'boyfriend' or 'brother'. Gavin thought it was a very strange kind of kink. But who was he to judge? All in all, they were grateful to have each other and to have someone to whom they could talk openly about that topic.

"As you know, I'm completely faithful and submissive to Connor. I would never do something to draw his doubt upon me."

Gavin took a deep breath and leaned forward. "And as we know, you never fail him," he added and smirked.

They sat a moment in silence before Gavin spoke up again. "I still think about that Thanksgiving weekend back then, and soon it will be one year."

"Right. Everything changed till then," Conrad replied and frowned.

"To the better, right?" Gavin asked him and Conrad nodded. "I'm happy we cleared things out back then."

"And I'm happy that you told me. I'm still a little mad about myself that I've gone mad at you."

But Gavin waved his hand in defence. "Forget it. Without that, I wouldn't even be in this situation right now."

Another moment of silence followed.

Then Gavin bit his lips. "There's... something I wanted to tell you." His glance was insecure, and for a short moment, he looked over to Kara, who just glanced back at the same moment.

"What is it?" Conrad asked with interest.

"Kara... she's..." Within an instant, he blushed, and he couldn't help but grin.

"No way... Honestly?" Conrad said, surprised and Gavin brushed a fingertip along his lip. "How far is she?"

"Ninth week. We didn't want to tell anybody before she didn't pass the first trimester."

Now Conrad leaned back and frowned. He tilted his head. "Gavin fucking Reed is going to be a dad. I can't believe it..."

Gavin grinned and felt how his stomach filled up with pride.

"But didn't you want to wait?" Conrad asked, and Gavin nodded.

"We wanted. But someone else seemed to have other plans." He paused for a moment. "In the end, it's not that bad. The company where I had this internship in July asked me if I would join them if I graduated. So..."

"That's perfect!" Conrad encouraged him, and Gavin took a deep breath.

"Everything will be fine."

"I'm honestly very happy for you two." Conrad's words were honest, and Gavin knew that.

They shared a glance when Kara came over and placed a hand on her boyfriend's shoulder. "Hey, Conrad. Nice to see you."

"Hey, Kara."

She looked down on Gavin. "Do you want another coffee? Five minutes and I can take a break with you."

He looped an arm around her hip and pulled her slightly towards him. "Sure. Just get it ready, I'll come and get it, okay?"

"Okay," she said and looked over to Conrad. "You too? You never had one of ours, did you?"

Conrad shook his head. "No, but I would love to taste it."

"Good," Kara said and bowed down to steal a quick kiss from Gavin before she went back to the counter.

"You're tooth-rotting sweet," Conrad commented in a static voice and sneered, whereas Gavin grinned.

"Not everyone can be as wicked as you and Connor," Gavin said.

His love for Kara was sweet and domestic. But after all, he had experienced, Gavin just knew, that this definitely was the way, he wanted to pursue in his life.

When he considered the fact, that it all had started with him giving her a change... It had been the best tip of his whole life.


End file.
